Wishing you all

a happy, prosperous and germ free new year
Darren

The Mighty Boosh

Why?

link

nuff said

2006 to 2007

Peace to you all*

*even Iceland managers, chicken manure farmers and people who don't like Milton Keynes

Au revoir

we'll miss you
but
we'll meet again

you'll have no pain now
a little longer for us

see you one day

Fogbound

How I am saddened that some people have been stuck at the major airports around the country, unable to get away from the dank, dark and miserable weather that is currently blighting the UK. It is with a heavy heart that I hear the news that some people are having their winter getaway disrupted, meaning that they have had to endure the grey, fog laden skies for several more hours than they really want to. It is such a shame that they will not have their bones thawed and their clothes dried as soon as they wished, slurping martinis and scotch as their planes soar through the atmosphere creating a carbon footprint the Sasquatch would be proud of.

Envy is a bad thing isn't it?

I've been tagged

I'd like to thank Katy for tagging me - cheers, what joy ;-)

Now, like everyone else who gets tagged I am also going to say that I don't normally do this sort of thing, and then continue to do it - such is life. Well the tag has requested that I tell you Five things you didn't know about me. As I don't know you that may be a bit hard as I don't know what you do know and what you don't :-) But here we go...

1 I was born into an impoverished life in the East End of London; a true cockney. I spent the early formative part of my life here, eeking a living and trying to survive in the heart of gangland. I left this battlefield of Pauline Fowlers and Krays at the age of two months.

2 I used to go clubbing regularly when I lived in London - when I could stay awake beyond 10pm - however, I very rarely paid for entry as I was always on the guest list.

3 My 'teen' band once played in front of about 2,000 people at the London Hippodrome

4 I passed the grade 5 exam on the clarinet

5 I left school in the middle of my A-levels to seek fame and fortune in the music industry. Within ten years I was a mature student getting the degree eduction I should have got years before

Well there you go. Five things about me.

I won't tag anyone else, as most of the people I know have already been tagged and as I hate doing this sort of thing myself, I won't inflict it on anyone else. Unless of course you really want to :-)

My year meme

I have decided not to go back through my journal entries here, or elsewhere on the net, and create a 'year in review' post/meme*. Well actually that isn't exactly true. I did think of doing that and having a look back at all the fun and exciting things that I had got up to. However, when I started I noticed that my ife had been particularly bland this past year. I noticed that throughout this year I had settled into a routine that wasn't productive in many ways.

Added to this is the recent news that a friend has weeks to live, it has made me think how precious life and what we have is, and how important it is that we cherish each moment we get.

Therefore next year will take Steven Covey's first principle very seriously, 'Be proactive'.**


*sorry, just being net pretentious
**there are still 16 days of this year to go, and so the principle starts now if I am to cherish every moment

Free calendar (not from me or Milton Keynes)

Dave Walker is a very funny and good cartoonist. He is also very generous. As such he is currently providing the world, through his blog, a free calendar for you to download, print out and stick where you want to - preferably somewhere you can see it to use. So if you want something a little different to post your deadlines you should head over here and download something wonderful.

New website for Milton Keynes

Have noticed a few posters in shop windows promoting this website.

Please believe me when I say there is more to Milton Keynes that this sort of corporate, pale and numbed, narcolepsy inducing, stock photo using, pile of bland.

Please believe me, if you don't I may stop believing it myself.

Christmas meal

In Look Back in Anger, Jimmy Porter laments that his Sundays are repetative and boring, as he says, 'Why do I do this every Sunday?'

In Milton Keynes, I also lament about the annual Christmas meal, 'Why do I do this every year?'

Actually it wasn't that bad, as follows:

Food = very nice
Company = friendly and chatty
Entertainment = very poor
Alcohol = enough

So on those terms it would get a mark of 75% which I suppose is very reasonable.

Credit where is due

Iceland delivered all the shopping at the alloted time :-)

Cold northern chill

We await the delivery from Iceland. After ordering instore on Saturday, when the manager was very short (as in rude not as relative to Ronnie Corbet), and having to put one of the bags on the trolley ourselves, becasue it had been left on another checkout, I don't hold out much hope of a safe delivery.

It may also have something to do with the way our address was written in a blue highlighter pen as was our home phone number in case of emergencies.

I fear we may starve

For someone living very close to one of the largest shopping centres in the UK, this is fantastic :-)

Mr Tomkins on Christmas

Now what shall I give up in order to feast?

Mums love Iceland

Now I know that people from Iceland are a little strange. I have known this since seeing the Sugarcubes and Bjork on Top of the Pops. As I understand, it has something to do with the very cold weather, the unusually long and dark winters (summers are long and light) and the general feeling that the island could explode with volcanic activity and send them all to a hot/cold death.

What I didn't expect was for the weirdness to extend itself to rudeness by the managers of one of their shops in Bletchley. Instead of explaining to us in a 'customer service' manner that they were unable to do something and apologising for any inconvenience caused. He stood there simply saying 'no' as if it was our fault and our causing - this the manager (Tom Peters would be turning in his grave if he was dead).

However, I now know the reason why 'Mums love Iceland' as Kerry Katona tells us in the advert. It is quite obvious really when you think about it. It must be because all women love to be treated badly.

So did we walk out, upset and vowing never to return? Of course not, they had some very good deals on.

50 worst artists in Music at Blender

This has nothing to do with Milton Keynes, although if someone included Milton Keynes in one of their songs it may help to get on this list.*

The 50 worst artists in music

You'll agree with some (most? unless you like this sort of rubbish and some obviously do [did] as they have sold shedloads of CDs), disagree with some (come on Japan? They were voted most missed act two years in succession by the readers of Smash Hits - a discerning bunch of readers if ever there was) and laugh at most of it.

A fun list to spend a few minutes.

*If this has been done I'd like to know

Social highlight of the year

This time next week it will all be over. The social event of the year will once again be a memory, filing itself in my little neurons, in my little brain. Last year's social event of the year has been filed in a similar way to the Plans for the Hyperspace Bypass that destroyed the earth in Douglas Adam's Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy, so as never to resurface again. Just thinking about it brings me out in a cold sweat.

Next Tuesday evening is our annual Christmas meal. I almost said party but that would be stretching the truth too far, still, I live in hope that this year's event will not lead me to seek therapy - lasy year's Slade impression was too much to take (the memory is leaking out, need to change the subject).

There has been no record of polonium-210 being found in Milton Keynes so far. Tests have been carried out by MK council at the Starbucks in Midsummer Place. But after extensive downing of Mocha, Cappu and Stone Chinos, no trace of the radioactive substance that killed Alexander Litvinenko* has been found.

*Interesting that not many blogs contain the former Russian spy's name. Too hard to spell is my personal view - but it doesn't take too much trawling to find it at the BBC.

It's a mystery

Now you know I'm not talking about Toyah because there wasn't any semblance of a lisp in the title. However, there is a mystery in our house. A strange smell was coming from under the sink and so it was felt that we should investigate the sink.

We did

After taking off the u-bend we found a slight blockage caused by a small painting brush. Now which young son member of the household uses small brushes to paint his miniature models? A brush can't accidentally get flushed down a sink, it needs to be held upright and dropped.

I haven't been well and french markets

Nope, I have had another case of man-flu. And this really was/is man-flu because I haven't got any medicine from the doctor. However, I have been browsing the internet and I found Wednesday 22nd November post over on Jonny B's site that brought a smile to my face - it seems he has had the lurgee too, although it wasn't that which brought the smile to my face.

It seems they have a 'French Market' in Norfolk too. We have one in Milton Keynes every so often, although since our car broke I haven't been able to get to the city centre as much as I would like and have probably missed this years event. In fact the Christmas market is probably there already and that is normally German.

Oxford Street Christmas Lights Campaign

Following on from my previous post about Ariel washing up powder and missing the point. I would like to put my full backing behind Dave Walker's Oxford Street Christmas Light campaign. Let's make every little effort, and there are also side effects of benefit too - less All Saints!

Cartoon by Dave Walker. Join the Oxford Street Christmas Lights Campaign at the Cartoon Blog.

What makes a face funny, what makes you laugh

Take a quick look at this from the BBC.

I am sorry to point this out to the people who did this study but they have failed to take any notice of what actually makes people funny and what makes other laugh. Let me help a little here, it has something to do with 'being' funny. They say chiseled jaw and high forehead aren't funny, but feminine features are. Excuse me, but have these people never heard of Tommy Cooper or John Cleese? I mean surely they must have, especially Cleese, after all I'm sure some of those involved were students, and the Parrot sketch is still required reading in further education.

Oh dear, I mean what have scientists ever done for us?

Dust off the leather jacket and hit the train station

I am off to the Cardiacs in a little while, so goodbye.

Ariel, energy saving and climate change

I am all for trying to save energy and therefore save the planet from its global warming calamity. Therefore when I watched the new Ariel washing powder advertisement on TV (those commercial channels not the very good and wonderful BBC - I slipped) I was very pleased.

There new washing powder washes just as well at 30 degrees as it does at 40 degrees... wonderful. The advert continues to tell us that if we all wash at 30 degrees it could save copious amounts of energy, in fact a 10 degree reduction can save up to 40% energy. This is fantastic, we can all save that much energy.

However, they then spoil it all by suggesting that energy can be used to light up to 1000 villages. Sorry, but I thought the point of saving energy was that you didn't use it.

Take a look at the current Ariel campaign here, and you can view the advert here.

Islam and Christianity unite

How wonderful the 5th of November is. We all celebrate Guy Fawkes night with exploding fireworks, making Milton Keynes sound, if not look, like downtown Beirut in the 80s. Still at least it is the one celebration of the year when when Muslims and Christians can unite by reliving the burning at the stake of a Catholic/Infidel.

I don't get out much

Milton Keynes is perfectly placed in the UK. It is about halfway between London (capital) and Birmingham (city number 2 - although I think Manchester argues this point a bit). It has a motorway running beside it and an inter-city route to enable travel between the north and the south of the country. As such you can quite easily get anywhere from Milton Keyens.

I however, don't get out very much... currently this is added to because our car is dead and buried (see wish list if you really want to help). But this sad lonely stay-at-home guy is off on his annual* pilgrimage to London next week. Yes, I am off to see The Cardiacs perform their yearly show. It should be good as they have said they will play songs that the fans have requested... hey I am a fan and I haven't requested anything, have I missed something again? I must get out more.

*Well almost, I didn't go last year and not sure if I made it the year before either

I want to be a policeman

Another great comment from sonJJ (that's his new online referent from me), the other night he told me that he currently wishes to become a policeman when he leaves school. The reason for this is, ' so I can drive a fast car and eat lots of doughnuts.'

I am left wondering why life is and has never, been that simple to me

Lucky he didn't use AOL

wouldn't have taken him so long to lose it

BBC News

On a semi-related point, eg the internet, I am still trying out both Firefox 2 and IE7 to see whether it may be time to give Microsoft another chance at being my preferred browser. However, currently this is being posted with FF2 and the spell checker comes in mighty handy for someone like me.

Even in Milton Keynes

I seem to have come down with a nasty chest infection, hence no updates. Thought I'd let you know on the off chance that you were were wondering where I was.

I hope to be back up to steam in the next few days, as that is when the antibiotics are finished. So if I am not better then I suppose a trip back to the docs will be called for.

MK News

The above is one of the free papers delivered around MK. In fact we get so many free papers and they are so large that the paperyounglings are given trolleys to deliver the biggest of them. The MK News isn't one of these, and you can check out their web-site on the right, this is a smaller paper.

Anyhow there was this article in yesterdays paper and I really don't know how to respond. Should I laugh or cry? Here I am trying to tell the world that MK is more than just roundabouts and concrete cows and yet we* complain at things like this. Anyhow, take a look and see what you think here.

*I use this as a collective pronoun. I have as much in common with the people who complain, as Nigel Lawson has with a Sri Lankan tea leaf picker

Weatherpixie

OK, I saw this on another blog and went to check it out. Weatherpixie gives you a little graphic and a local weather report that you can paste onto your blog/ site. Well I went through the process, tinkering around and wondering whether, I should have the weather on this site.

I decided not to though when I wasn't able to add Milton Keynes as my weather place. Now normally this wouldn't bother me, I would simply choose London. However, weatherpixie did offer one or two other more obscure places. So until weatherpixie notices that Milton Keynes, is bigger, better and much more fun to be at, than Middle Wallop I'll keep my forecast to myself.